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anticlimax

6-25-'xx: 12:02am

it's funny. every time i watch velvet goldmine, i can hear linz singing along just slightly out of tune. it's really hard to believe that last summer was really an entire year ago. taco said the same thing...she was talking about how just a few days ago she emptied her suitcase which was still partially packed from last summer. i guess i could say that so much has happened since then, but it all seems like a blur. i think that last summer still stands still against everything else...because it was just kind of a break from...life. everything is always moving...and even this summer, it's all moving...but last summer things stayed pretty still.

i remember watching thunderstorms with taco and linz...sitting in the sunroom listening to the rain or sitting outside listening to the velvet goldmine soundtrack while lightning ripped across the skies. and on clear nights counting the shooting stars. i don't know how it was for them...but for me, it was like i was waiting for something big to happen. the thunderstorms, shooting stars...a change in the wind...everything was building up to some climactic breaking point when everything was going to explode. because i had a feeling. i had a feeling that everything was moving on to something bigger...that nothing was standing still.

but it didn't all build up to some grand fortissimo, or anything. but in hindsight, i'm not unsatisfied. because what i've realized now is that while you're waiting for something MORE important to happen, you miss the just regular important things that would have been easy to spot if you hadn't been looking so far ahead.

we never get thunderstorms here, i feel cheated.

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