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saturday: extended dance version

7-29-'^o1: 3:50pm

like the last two saturdays, the dennys crew eventually headed to the 99 cent store and big lots! [ formerly known as pik n save ]. this was after i spread the word about celebrity...aka...well, never mind about that. i was heading down the big lots! toy aisle from visiting the rainbow prince [ the perfect flamey shopping buddy ] when i found one of the coolest things ever: the micro jammers honky tonk guitar.

well, maybe that's what it was called. i don't remember. but i ran across said guitar when searching through micro jammers instruments for a saxophone for sam. because when we went to everett he seemed to want one so much. i picked up the guitar and pressed some buttons. turns out that it was the same micro jammers guitar that dr frank used to record "thinking of you". i purchased it and just about drove everyone mad trying to figure out how to play the song.

unlike usual, though, we headed off to hastings so chrissy could return a video. since we were all heading to katrina's afterward, we all went with her. and of course, loitered.

i'll start out with a description, so you can get a footing on where we were. someone i know [ and the store themselves ] described hastings as an "entertainment superstore". kind of like castle superstore except it isn't kinky porn stuff...hastings sells and rents out videos, sells software, books, magazines, music [ cds, cassettes, the occasional record ], music-related apparel and merchandise, and snacks by the counter. it's a semi-flashy place with intercom music that's a few steps louder [ and harder ] than supermarket music and many tv's playing different things in different parts of the store. on one particular television in the front, they were playing *nsync's no strings attatched tour hbo video. kind of like an entertainment equivalent of wal-mart except without the cute smiley face or the person greeting you at the door.

eventually, after i considered fronting 9 bucks for a chris kirkpatrick marionette and decided i'd wait another few months for it to be 5 bucks, i headed over to the magazine section. ruth then said that she needed to find tokyopop magazine, and that i was to help her fin-- i was distracted sharply by the plesant face of jc chasez smiling sweetly at me from the serenely blue cover of rolling stone. i picked it up. "loooooooook." i had no cash on me, but i borrowed some from ruth, who said "don't worry about it. i understand. i totally understand."

then, i headed over to find the rest of the crew, who had abandoned me shaking their heads [ they know they wanted it, they were just jealous that i got to it first and that the only one left sitting there was one of justin timberlake ]. they were looking at the art magazines, and i picked up the closest magazine to me and started to flip through it. since the gay/lesbian magazines happen to be right next to the art ones, i ended up looking at pictures of cute boys who love other boys in xy magazine. a photo sequence where this naff old cupid would shoot a boy on the ass with an arrow and he'd fall in love with the nearest boy. it was amusing. then, someone said "hey, i think that magazine has this comic in it...it's really funny." so i flipped through until i found the comic, and began to read it.

plotline run-down: two boys run into each other on a streetcorner by a cafe. they apologize, and one says that he's there for a blind date. the other guy says "wow, so am i!" and since they both fit the descriptions their blind date gave them, they assume that they were supposed to meet. they get to talking..."one of the hottest guys on campus, i never thought you were gay!", et cetera. i got to one frame, however, that really amused me.

boy no. 1 says: "i drive a hot pink volkswagen bug, could i be any more obvious?!" i immediately found that line by itself amusing.

boy no. 2 replies: "i alawys just thought that you were the earth-loving vegan type!" mistaking one stereotype for another. his trite mistake was our humour. being that i have a sense of humour that is twisted in about five hundred directions, i found this funny as well. so funny that i read both lines aloud to the group. we laughed.

then, the comic went on and the guys got ot exchanging screen names. "you mean you aren't..." they had the wrong people! and they look in the cafe windown and see who they were supposed to meet...one is a hairy bodybuilder-trucker type, the other is a somewhat bloaty comic-shop looking guy. both look to be about in their 40's. the two good-looking boys in their 20's run off, hand in hand, glad that they found each other first. by then, we were all cracking up.

we are distracted by a loud, condecending voice over to our left. "excuse me, this is a book store. do you think you could keep it down?"

we were very civil, considering the guy was out of line. i can understand being irritated by us laughing...and i can understand him asking us to shut up. but...a book store? um...you go tell that to whoever was playing weezer over the intercom when i came in. riiiiiiiight. but we didn't retaliate, just mumbled a collective apology and became very quiet. but no. he wasn't done with us yet.

"and what's wrong with vegans?" still in that same holier-than-thou tone.

"nothing...i was just reading a line in here," i nod at the magazine, still open to the comic, "out loud. straight out of the magazine."

"and i'm a vegan...there's nothing wrong with it at all." joni spoke up.

the guy wasn't convinced. "well, i was very offended."

"i was just reading this..." i trailed off...i think my comment was lost as i felt the deja vu from a few seconds before.

"i AM a vegan, i wouldn't insult them." joni reiterated much like myself. she sounded irritated.

he looked at her. "what right do you have to be upset at me?"

well, for starters...you picked a fight with us on shaky premises, THEN continued it after we tried to patch things up. "think before you speak" was something that comes to mind now. i held my tounge.

he had to have one last word, though. "i was offended."

it was obvious that this guy thought we were selfish, uncaring monsters. i don't like being seen that way. i tried once more to make him see that we were SORRY that we offended him. SORRY. "i'm really sorry it offended you...i had no idea, ok? i was just reading it." in that tired i-give-up kind of voice.

not good enough for him. "yeah, sure." he was trying to match me close enough to twist my tone to sarcasm instead of exasperation.

"i'm not bieng sarcastic." calmly, flatly. i tried to take any tone out of my voice so my words couldn't be twisted.

"yeah, sure." he scoffed.

there was no dealing with this guy. "well, i'm sorry you don't believe me. i'm not being sarcastic, and i really am sorry that you were offended." although now it was more like i was trying to convince myself as to keep from getting pissed off and going off on him.

and thus, my viewing of the boys who love boys magazine was ruined, and i walked off with my lovely copy of rolling stone. and stumbled upon three more copies in a display in honour of celebrity's release. they had two with justin on them and...one of chris. i was torn. chris or jc? i decided, however, that katrina might want the chris one so i got the jc one. which means that i didn't buy them both. HA!

afterward, we went to katrina's and watched the last unicorn and the live action peter pan movie. ROCK. and then even later i went to planet of the apes. DEIFNITELY better than last week's movie [ jurassic park 3 ].

merrick may or may not have been out partying in vegas last night, and i may or may not have been here taping up show rifles. i'm a mean, lean, saturday night machine.

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