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the fifth wheel

3-20-'02: 12:17am

i had to laugh. i sat on the "couch", not even attempting to pay attention to the poorly dubbed jackie chan movie playing on the television. jenn laid on the floor with nate, jon was on the couch with chelsea. two, two, and the fifth wheel. kind of like the trip to seattle. chris and mitch, best friends...jenn and jon, close friends...and me. it's a trend i've been noticing lately. four's a crowd...and five...five is a bigger crowd.

i mentioned this to jon later.

"you'll find some guy...someday."

right.

as the jokes about my wish to become a band director continue to fly, i begin to realize the "hopelessness" of my situation. i can't imagine that arranging hank levy tunes for harp and discussing band politics are on the short list of turn-ons...and i am further beaten down by my ever-so-more-sexually-experienced friends, who pick on me for being...gasp...a virgin. then again...they assume that's what i'm looking for. i mean...what could be more important than the physical aspects of a relationship? companionship, possibly? phhhh...come on, cydne, don't be naive.

i guess i'm a late bloomer because i'm waiting for someone to come along and prove them all wrong.

so i laughed as the room cleared and everyone left to be with each other. "don't worry about it," i told them, "i'm just getting used to it."

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