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rumors, incongruencies, after-dinner-mints

3-10-'xx: 11:18pm

man. I just went and looked at my diary on this browser...the dumb AOL one that's on my mom's slow-ass compaq (and ironically, the only one that'll work), and my page looks ULTRA crappy. like, super-duper crappy. but whatever...you can barely read it, so at least my sister won't be tempted to try.

I watched movies in three classes and ate pizza in one. we watched the crocodile hunter bloopers....man, that man is out of his mind. crazy. but like I'm one to talk! right after school we started heading up here...got to my mom's around seven or so and sat around for awhile chewing the fat. then proceeded onto the game.

parking was a nightmare. it was like trying to find god in hell. finally, we got directed to a lot way the hell in the back, practically to blaine or whatever. it was me, my dad, and my sister. I had to show my sister all my friends and was once again reminded of how much of a serious loser I am. "anyone in that section over there a friend of yours?" "nope, not that I see." jesus. pathetic.

the girls won the game, by 19 points. if they win tomorrows, they'll win the state championship. and not only that...they'll have a completely undefeated season.

today jennifer was talking about how lane drinks, and was being so totally gossipy...she made it seem like he was some kind of drunk or something. it's like....just because someone goes out and has a drink every once in awhile doesn't mean they're a drunk. and then to spread rumors. it pissed me off.

I think earlier I had something deep and meaningful to say. I was really depressed again last night. I was talking to ryan and he knew something about ben but he wouldn't tell me...finally I forced him to and he says that ben's gay. I knew that ben has been confused about his sexuality, but he never told me he was gay. as a matter of fact, he never even really leaned in that direction at all. but I guess that ginger told ryan that ben told her that he's gay. I don't know how valid it is, but then I started thinking about other stuff and I got depressed. it wasn't even the whole ben being gay thing that made me depressed...it was other stuff. but I figure I'd put something about that here...because like...I don't know. I'd think that ben would tell me something about a decision that huge...the decision to switch his sexuality totally over to one "team"....but he hasn't said anything. I mean...I'm not worried about it or anything...I just think it's kind of weird. oh well. if it's true, and he feels like saying something, he will. and if it's true and he doesn't say anything, he has his reasons, and I'll leave it at that. it's just kind of....incongruent, that's all.

it's like....what ben has told me and what ryan-told-me-he heard-from-ginger-who-heard-it-from-ben doesn't match up. and that bothers me. I'm really confident ben wouldnt lie to me...but keeping that in mind...how did ginger come to a different conclusion? did ben tell her he was gay? or did he talk to her about his sexuality issues and she just assumed he was? the way these stories don't match up...it just...irks me. but I don't want to ask ben about it. that would sound to accusing, y'know?

anyway. enough of that. now I'm here on my mom's slow-ass computer. REALLY slow. I'm hoping that I can get the history here cleared so that tasha doesn't find these sites. or anyone else, for that matter. I'm tired, too, and since my sister went with my dad I can sleep in her bed. ahhh. I don't care what my mom says about the couch being comfortable....once you've had to live on it for a month it gets kind of old. I can NEVER get a good night's sleep on that thing.

so I better jet. my mom said she's going to wake me up at some horrible time in the morning so I best get some sleep while I still can.

oh,a nd by the way...there's FINALLY some stuff up on aquabotic.com. yay benjie! I love you! really! I'm not kidding! anyway, it's just a beginning screen, none of the links go anywhere...but it's PROGRESS! and i like the colours too. reminds me of after dinner mints. me and taco and linz once ate a whole bowl of those. we were wired.

and on that note, I exit.

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