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←/ o n e / m o r e / t i m e /→ |
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/ n o w / / t h e n / - 2 0 0 6 → / w r i t e / / e t c / / d l a n d / |
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on my own...ha. 9-24-'o1: 11:11pm there is something about being able to lay in bed and type up and entry at the same time that is...unsettlingly fulfilling. lots of stuff has happened in the last few days but nothing really worth noting. everyone kept drilling into my head what a huge deal going to college was going to be...but i still have yet to feel it. "so...are you excited?!" jess asked me. i tried to crack a smile. "of course." realized what a cracked-ass lie that was. "actually, no. i'm not. not really." "don't you even give me that." she really sounded offended. but i was just being honest. maybe this was due to the fact that everything seemed to be going wrong. it left this feeling of unresolution that lingered above my head like one of those clouds in the cartoons. my computer order got put on hold. my mother couldn't make it out to help me move in...and she had a good portion of my stuff. my last rehersal with the marching band was thursday. it was friday and i still wasn't packed...everything felt frantic. it kind of drowned out the excitement. "i guess it'll be a bigger deal once i get there." i said that to myself over and over...only ever half believing it. now that i'm here...i'm wondering what's wrong with me. i've made the transition into this like i've lived here my whole life. i got a letter in the mail yesterday telling me that i have recieved a scholarship for $1,150 for academics. i ended up buying my computer at the bookstore...roughly the same price, good service, and convenience. things are coming together....now, if only i could figure out what books i need... i guess that it'll be a big deal once classes actually start on wednesday. at least, that's what i keep telling myself. ←/ b a c k w a r d / f o r w a r d /→ |
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